God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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