I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
