Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
