The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
