Apparently you make a good broom.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
