Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
