I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
