My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
