dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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