He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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