Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
