I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the condom got lost in my hair
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
