Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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