no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
