this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
