My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
