Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
