she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
