I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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