The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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