it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
