what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
