Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
