Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
