How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
