Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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