and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize