is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
too bad you live with your parents still
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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