I feel great
I just peed on a car
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
