I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
