honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
