Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize