Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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