It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize