Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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