also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
