i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
