I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
