hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize