dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Life is so much better after having sex.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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