you're like a bully in the Christmas story
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
