He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
