Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
