do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
