My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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