I am puke
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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