R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize