my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
