Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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