this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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