Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize