Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
