I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
