Already got asked if we're dating
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
