Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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