problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
