Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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