I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
