why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
